RANSVESTIA

"No," I said. "Tell me about Natalie."

"She went home five minutes after you dashed out," she said huskily. "I think she realized..."

"Where did she come from?" I cut in.

"From out of my past," Valerie's voice showed uncertainty again.

"I mean," I said pointedly, "Why was she here today? Was this going on before when I wasn't here?"

I didn't think she'd answer me for a moment. There was a little silence before she went on carefully. "I asked her over. I was lonely, I guess. I haven't been near another woman since I met you. She and I were, well, we were very good friends once, but it's long over now. And I think we both realized it after you left."

"What are you, Valerie?" I finally said, ignoring the soft, concilia- tory tone of her voice. "That's really what I want to know. I saw you with Earl and I've seen you with other men as they pass you by. I've seen Katrina, too." A gasp came from out of the darkness. "I thought you wanted to be a real woman," I said. "I treated you like a woman because ... because .. Words failed me. I was getting into an area where I didn't actually know what I thought any more. I didn't really know why I was so upset, either.

"

"I suppose you want the story of my life," she had regained her calm again. It was I who was tongue-tied and defensive. I mumbled something and she began to talk in a low murmur. "All right, but hear me out and listen to it all. Then, perhaps... Well, I had the usual unhappy childhood. I loved to dress in girl's clothes, my mother's clothes, even when I was a boy. She hated me for it and punished me pretty harshly when she caught me, and she caught me many times. But she died when I was 16, my father died when I was just a little boy," a shiver ran up my spine as she described herself that way, "and Mother's death left me largely to my own devices, save for my trustee, a friend of my mothers. She thought my cross-dressing was cute and she encouraged me. She even interested me in sex. She was the one who introduced me to hormones and surgery as well. Oh, yes, I've seen you looking at me, but you don't know what I've gone through in having my nose, my face, and my breasts fixed up to pass

-20-